Falling: It's Fun

Lately I've been up and down, mostly down and not very up.

To be honest I've been pretty mentally exhausted.

It's difficult to be AWESOME all the time, you see. (;

Anyway, work is getting better. Or rather, I'm getting better at it. Which means only of course better job security since I'm improving, as well as eventually greater pay. Further on, of course.

Which brings me to a major point of my life that I've finally realized:

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I am support.

Always have been and likely always will be. I'm not a leader, though I can take control in the chaos if need be. Often I will put myself to the side in order to help others, even when everyone else says "you shouldn't help them" or "why are you helping them?"

This is what I believe: "You don't need a reason to help people." (Zidane)

You should just help them, if you can. Either with kind words, other conversation, or if needed then monetarily. And for the record if you talk to me with your problems, god damnit don't apologize. I will discuss anything with you, your troubles or your joys. I'm not a "sunshine friend". I will stick with you no matter what you're going through. If we drift apart when your troubles go away it's okay, I don't mind. Honestly.

I'm glad for all the people that I've had in my life. If you want to share your troubles with me, then I will help carry the burden with you. If you want to share your joy with me, then I will help lift you up to new heights.

Either way, it is up to you and how you want to speak with me. With what you want to speak to me about.

I've got two ears, two eyes, and two hands. One of each for me, and one of each for you, if you feel you need it. <3

So many of you out there are troubled by small things and overlook the big wonderful things in your life. Everything can be positive if you look at it in that light.

If you're having a hard time with getting into a relationship then guess what? You haven't found the right person and should enjoy the time you have on your own to do whatever you like without anyone else refereeing.

If you're in a relationship then don't be sad about being tied down: you've got someone who will be there with you through whatever may come your way. Someone to talk to about anything whenever you need someone there, someone to share good times and good drinks (or sometimes bad drinks if you're trying something new).

Even if you find yourself falling... always look up. Always~

 - JJD

[You can let it get you down, or let it lift you up. This is true of everything.]

Migraine Monday

"I hate my face! It rebels...><"

So today was interesting, I found out my supervisor wasn't fired and I have a new one. Wait what? So confused.

Work otherwise was pretty chill, love helping people. Seriously considering this summer going through training for suicide hotline volunteering. Really want to make a difference with people and help them. I think I could be good at it.

But yeah, it's pretty late now and I have to go to bed. I had a pretty nasty migraine and took some meds for it, then laid down for like an hour and it gradually went away. So far this past week I've had a panic attack and a migraine. Shitty week much? Yes indeed.

 - JJD

PS: Working on making plans for later this year though, so this week may suck, but this year will rock. <3

Don't Look Now, Look Away

I'm finally done with the house sitting. It means no more dogs trying to eat my stuff, or annoyingly banging into me to pat them on the head. Like seriously, how annoying is that?

In other news, I've noticed I'm starting to... well there's no other way to say it... ignore everyone and fall back into myself again.

This week I'm going to try to undo that but I'm not sure how well that will work.

Lately I've just been very lonely. It's been about half a year since I've been intimate with anyone. Five months since my last kiss. That was pretty bloody depressing too now that I think about it. Birthday kiss from the girl who broke my heart. Awesome sauce. >_>

Anyway, this month is dragging the hell out like no one's business. I swear the past week lasted three weeks. Every day has lasted forever. And a day and a half. Ugh. Tuesday I might go to a concert thing, even though I don't know but one person who's going and honestly I haven't talked to him since high school and we were merely acquaintances then.

I don't know. I feel bad for all the stuff I've bought lately and I don't want to go spend money because of everything I want to do later this year... I'm afraid of using up all my money and then not having enough to do what I want to.

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Which brings me to Animazement. If I go I'm getting a room. I'm also going to try to find a chick and flirt the hell out of her. True story. Be aware any females who are reading this and going to Animazement: there will likely be a tall, skinny, bearded boy who is going to be hitting on you. Feel free to give it up.

What? I didn't just say that...

Okay I did. Keep it in mind, at least.

Haven't had much variety, but have had lots of experience.

All I'm gonna say about it.

 - JJD

PS: Currently in a big Sondre Lerche mood. Check him out if you want some chill tunes. <3

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The Situation

So far 2010 has been epic and amazing.

So far this week has been pretty epic fail.

I've posted a video on youtube, so I'll just embed because I'm lazy and don't want to write, and honestly my face tells it better than these words ever could. (At least this early in my writing career.)

- JJD

Too Tired To Try, Hardly Handling Hard Histories

I love alliteration, can you tell?

Anyway, this is the... oh I can't remember what day of house sitting this is. It'll be over soon, I'm glad of that. The dumb dog ripped my book up. Well okay just the cover but still. Irritating little mutt. Thing could probably sit on me and break something though. Stupid big little mutt. ><

Don't like dogs much, can you tell?

Anyway, I'm exhausted and really just making this post because I'm not happy this week. Work + work + too little sleep + not hanging with friends = not a fun week for me.

On the plus side: I have 1000$ in my god damned checking account. I get paid next week, another 600. I don't have anything to spend this shit on. So... I'm saving.

Later chaps.

- JJD

House Sitting: Round 1

Well I actually didn't go to work today, the hill getting out of my neighborhood was still iced up and didn't melt enough until around 4-ish, and even then it was scary as shit going up it. Such a snow pansy. Maybe if I had a reliable car.....

I got here around 5 and have been here since then. It's about 8 now and I just finished watching Coraline which is an amazing movie. A lot of love went into it, that's pretty obvious.

It's strange being in someone else's home... especially this one. Like... it's amazing. They've got an awesome home but... I don't think...

It's too much for me. I'm overwhelmed. It's too... I don't know what the word is. It's just not me.

I'm glad I'm not staying here any longer than a week. I don't mind watching their house for them, but... it's a bit much.

And their bird is especially annoying. Kept chirping all through the movie. I know there weren't any canaries in Coraline.

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Also the dogs are kind of annoying. One of them keeps getting excited at me, and the other keeps growling with a towel in his mouth. I know he wants to play... but I tried playing tug-of-war with him and the towel but he just kept growling and wasn't really trying. Just don't get dogs... they're so... different.

It's going to be a bit hard for me here, I don't know the password to get online on my computer, so there's not much I'll be able to do online. I'll be able to get on facebook... I think... but other than that and blogger I won't have much out time online. I'm actually logged in to their son's account on the computer right now.

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I'm going to go unpack a little, but not too much. Don't want the dogs to go through my stuff, then I might watch some Lost or something. More than likely I'll write. For some reason... this house is very... inspirational.

I don't want this house, but maybe some day... I will want one. A house. I'm... hesitant, but I might.

Night everybody, I'll try to post every day that I house sit, and keep people informed. Because you all care, right my one follower? ;)

- JJD

PS: Congrats to my first "follower" on here, Britny. I would get you something, but I already bought you Cook Out... twice... while you were here. Does that cover it? Probably not, how about I just bring Cook Out to your wedding... assuming I'm invited and that it would keep long enough for you to enjoy it. =P
PPS: I just realized you're my first personal blog follower Brit, but not my first actual follower. That is reserved by Reyna, when she started to follow my poetry blog. Still awesome though. <3

Animazement Anyone?

Animazement? Psh.

More like aniMAZING? AM I RITE?!

Seriously though, I'm likely going to Animazement this year, just because I'm single and I want to buy art.

Honestly, it's just because I want to support the artists who go there and their original stuff doesn't get sold because it's not "famous". Hopefully there will be some originality there. <3

So! Here's the thing, it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Likely I'll get a weekend pass ($50) and even more likely I'll want to stay there (at the overflow hotel). It's 99$ a night, so it'll likely be three nights (Thurs, Fri and Sat). So far this is my little total:

050 for entrance
300 for three nights
150 for food (four days three meals)
200 for artwork/manga/CDs/whatevs
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700 for four days

Intense, no? Very. The good thing is it's a few months away so I have time to save. The bad thing is that I've got a lot of things I want to do and I'm not sure I'll be able to blow that much in one weekend. I could NOT get a hotel room, but then I have to come HOME to my mom or dad's house. And well... lets just say I'd like the possibility to.. ehm... maybe not want to do that.

Yeah. So it could totally be worth it.

Possibly.

Going to keep it in mind in the next few months.

http://www.animazement.org/

Night all. Happy February.

- JJD

EDIT: Realized it's Thurs through Sunday, so that's three nights. Adjusted finances appropriately. Original estimate was 550. This is even more intense now...

Creativity Released (Or Re-Leased?...)

I recently purchased two things of little interest: a sketchbook and a tiny notebook.

Neither of these are new, I purchase tiny notebooks all the time, I recently purchased two from Target and they promptly disappeared somewhere (I'll find them in a month or two). Sketchbooks I don't purchase often, but I do purchase from time to time, draw some and forget about them.

So far I've drawn about four pictures in my sketchbook, one unfinished, and I've written four poems in my tiny notebook.

And I just realized that I did four in both... interesting.

Anyway, it's my goal to fill them up in a month or so. Hopefully by the end of February I'll be able to get more sketchbooks and more tiny notebooks. At the end of this year I want to be able to sit down for a month and go through my sketches, doodles and serious pieces and match them with my best poems and publish them.

That's my hope anyway, not sure how it'll work out. Definitely going to work at it though.

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Also: I'm in a life loving mood lately. <3 Human being suck, but people are awesome. Especially if you're my friend. If you're reading this and you know me then more than likely you're more awesome than you realize. And if you don't know me, that doesn't mean you're not awesome, it just means you're missing out on the awesome that is me. ^_~

- JJD

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I remember riding in that car, driving home at the speed of ice. It was one of the best afternoons in my life, let alone one of the best days of my life. Thank you. <3